If you don't like what i write, then quit reading...

I'm having a horrible couple of days again.... wondering why I am here, why I should live, why nothing means anything anymore.
I read some of these blogs and some people have boyfriends, some of you have children and /or grandchildren, some of you have wives or husbands, some of you are surrounded by friends or family that you are in touch with and interact with and who truly seem to care about you...so I'm just wondering...
What if you have no one in your life? What if you have no one that calls you or seems to care about you? What if you have no friends that you can lean or or trust or who are always there no matter what? What if you have two sons, but they don't act like their mom means anything to them - do they ever help me out because I am alone? No.
What if you start to think that you must have something wrong with you that no one wants to be around you? What if you sit alone every night wishing you could go out, go to a movie, or out to eat, or to a dance, or to the state fair, but you don't have anyone to do any of those things with? What if you feel like all you do is school work, and then the next thing you have to do is more school stuff because your classroom is a mess because they moved all your stuff and it's only a month and you have to be ready to teach? What if you feel like you are 54 and half your life is over and you really haven't lived, and now you wonder if you want to live if this is how it's going to be? What if you wonder if you can die of loneliness and sometimes you wish you would so you wouldn't have to feel this way anymore? What if you feel like you shouldn't feel this way but you do and you don't know what to do about it? What do you do if you are tired of acting like everything is wonderful around people because you know you shouldn't feel this way, and they don't want to hear about your problems? What do you do if you feel like there are no answers anymore?